Poetry

Mo(Fa)therhood

Not giving to receive

Giving for-givings’ sake

***

Loving with instinct

Nurturing for free

***

Watching us grow

Not judging mistakes

***

Embracing our tastes

No vicarious life

***

Taking joy in our smile

Applauding our choices

No test at the end

***

Feeling our losses

Holding our grief

Loving our victories

Unconditional embrace

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Copyright © 2018 Hannah Edge. All rights reserved

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Poetry

Vuelve

If i come to you for advice

will you just

hold me

in an ethereal embrace?

Will you prop me up

and whisper

pure encouragement?

*** ***

Your lack of negative judgement

Your heart on your sleeve

Your love of my smile

My love of your love

My love of you

*** ***

You said goodbye too soon

You said goodbye as my brain

turned tail; as my mind

refused logic and clung to fear.

You said hasta luego mi niña

*** ***

Pero te necesito AHORA.

*** ***

Copyright © 2018 Hannah Edge. All rights reserved.

***

This poem merits an addendum!

Firstly, this is a prayer to my nana, the most wonderful and kind hearted person I ever met. She passed away on the 14th January 1997, in San Pedro de Alcantara, Spain.

Please though, feel free to akin this prayer to Whoever this makes you think of – my nana would insist!

Secondly, translations:

Vuelve – Come Back

Hasta luego – see you later / until then

Mi niña – my child (feminine pronoun)

Pero te necesito ahora – but I need you now

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Poetry

Jack of All Moods

A broken rollercoaster

at the Freak Show Carnival

*** ***

Sing a song of tu’pence,

here’s six-pence change

*** ***

Don your Pennywise mask

and crash into my Dodgem

*** ***

Hall of mirrors warps my soul,

my perception screams for more

*** ***

Bearded lady reads my un-fortune

of happiness and health.

*** ***

Copyright © 2018 Hannah Edge. All rights reserved.

Image: Copyright © WarnerBros.

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Poetry

Skewiff

Cock your head,

view it sideways

Now it makes sense

*** ***

Right?

*** ***

If the world is round

and ever moving

Straight is never an option

*** ***

Mother Nature

not Terry Pratchett;

It’s called Earth, not Discworld

*** ***

These linear paths deceive

as they curve,

but you act so surprised

while you curl up to cry

at the injustice and heartbreak

*** ***

.

*** ***

This is not what you asked for

It’s not what you dreamed

Hellish flames scald your essence

and devour your soul

For the path had a turn

despite what you yearn

Life is out of control

it’s turbulent. Defunct

*** ***

Copyright © 2018 Hannah Edge. All rights reserved.

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Musings

Athena’s Time

It’s not often you will catch me undressing as blatantly as this.  Normally I prefer to do it behind a poetic blind.  But today, I found my old writing.  And I mean decade old writing.  The writing of a newly born butterfly, that had ambition and doggedness in abundance.

I had assumed my old poetry would be naive, full of candied stories.  But like with all my current phobias, I used to face down my enemies.  Now I cower and submit.  I used to chat to strangers on the bus.  Now I catch a taxi and keep my earphones in.  I used to stomp on woodlice, laugh at clowns, pet giraffes and change my plans at the drop of my trilby.

As the years have slunk away I’ve steadily retreated, glowering at any little ‘threat’.  Until I buried myself so deep I could not breathe.  The claustrophobia was killing me, the lack of oxygen choking me, the lack of sunlight ever present.

Now my life is changing.  I did it myself.  I took my safety and stomped on it.  Security blankets hide you away from pain and pleasure.  But it’s hard.  I warn all of you who are still to climb out of your self-dug graves.  I have spent months searching for me.  Wondering where I left me.  Questioning what I did to me.  Yearning to fix me, find my strength and voice.  And smile.

As I dug through my treasure chest of youthful emotions, I came upon the reason for my old strength:

I know who my muse is.  She always watches over me and has done from the word ‘go’.  I realised who she was five years ago, and since then our relationship has gone from strength to strength.  I pray to my muse if I am at a crossroads or my pen is stuttering or I simply want to speak to her.

When I write she is there, embracing me, massaging my shoulder as the muscles ache.  She nudges my hand across the page.  She tells me when to stop.  She envelops me if the subject is raw, tender or sensitive.  I feel her fingers dig into my spine if I choose the soft option.

Our bond is unique because I know, and am happy, that she is there.  I understand she is a muse to others, but that is a comfort.  It prevents me from selfishness and laziness.  It spurs me on to think I might be wasting her time if I stop.

(21 year old Edge)

2017 is a year I want to hurry up and finish.  Every day I wake to new choices.  Not ‘what I want for breakfast’ or ‘shall i watch Jezza or Rinder’.  2017 is bolder than that.  It wants to be noticed, remembered.  I see it’s doing a damn good job of that for a lot of us.  But I’m an out-of-control narcissist, so I’ve not really paid attention.  I’ve been busy.  So busy.  And now I’m tired, but it isn’t the time for rest.  It’s time I bend my knees.

I shall pray.

I shall pray for the strength to meet these challenges.

I shall listen.

I shall listen to her wisdom, her gentle voice as she tells me to follow my gut and wear my personality on my chest.

Copyright © 2017 Hannah Edge. All rights reserved.

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